Ever have those times when you set stuff up and it doesn’t seem to be working? This time it wasn’t the technology — it was me.
I really did intend to create something for my final project that would be useful to my fellow faculty members at my institution. I said I’d create units intended to be for a Teaching Online class I will never get approved, but that could be used as part of the Program for Online Teaching. (POT is the volunteer professional development group I founded of faculty volunteers who volunteer their time to voluntarily help other faculty teach online — did I mention no one is paid for this? and yes, we named it POT on purpose.)
So I posted it as a proposal. After some searching and playing and trying, I decided on WordPress over Posterous and other things. I can adapt the Atahualpa theme in a different way for this blog, so I began doing that. I set things up, some tabs and stuff. I mapped it all out on pages and pages of lined paper, in pencil (that’s my way).
I checked with my network. I got approval from my professor. I bought Jing Pro. Then I started creating the tutorials. Wrote a script for the first one, did the screencast, yuck, re-did the screencast. I posted it. I looked. Here it is, with a screencast on the Help page. I was overcome with ennui. I tweeted. I was not having fun.
Why did this happen? It seemed like such a good idea, but I felt absolutely dull doing it. I wonder now whether this was because of the crisis we’re having at my college, where we’re all horribly overworked this semester catering to powers that be and just feel like hell. Or maybe it’s that I’m spending my spare time reading dystopian technology books that I really would like to spend more time analyzing.
Mind shift. I love film. When I took the CCK08 class, my final project used movie clips. Every time I watch an old movie I haven’t seen, I make connections to what’s going on now (it’s a historian thing, I guess). I have new ideas these days, things I want to express within the context of this class, about technology and communication. So I tweeted again:
He said it sounded fun and interesting, and I was much happier. I went back to the previously rejected Posterous (I like using a new technology for a new thing — maybe WP was part of the problem too). Now I’m collecting film clips and quotations and I’ll decide where it’s going as I do it. Less planning, but it will come together the more I think about it.
Now my project fits the time I have to do it, and it feels luxurious, so I can develop ideas as I go instead of starting with ideas I already had. And even if it’s not immediately and obviously useful to my job (either as history prof or POT director), I’ll learn a lot more doing this. 
I giggled reading this post. Last fall, I took a digital photography class. Every time we got an assignment, I would try to create something that I thought was “significant”… but it just wasn’t me, and I couldn’t get into it or go anywhere with it. In the end, when I listened to my authentic self, I came up with wonderful projects… I don’t know why it always took me so long to get to it, though…
Enjoy the process!
Though I have a lot of learning to do before I understand the technical side of what you are discussing here, I do love reading your posts. You have a gift. Your voice comes through loud and clear in your posts as you outline your learning and at the same time, are able to laugh at yourself and provide some comic relief to the rest of us.
Thank you Lisa!
Hey Lisa its great to be able to laugh as I read through some of the blogs. I have also changed my mind about projects after I started. Once you start and recognize the passion is not there you have two choices, one is to continue on and not enjoy the learning experience or you can switch the project up and make it something you are passionate about and will enjoy. Good call in recognizing the need to make the experience more enjoyable.
Mike
Thank you for sharing the whole back story – for making even this part of it transparent. I think this is all important, and your internal negotiations of what felt right or meaningful are important to the process. I am glad you are not taking the route of just finishing a project for the sake of finishing, but in fact, finding a reason, a personal reason, to do so.
I gotta be careful though. It may be a fine line between transparent and whiney/TMI/etc.
I loved reading your post. I look forward to seeing / reading / comprehending what you do with old film clips and new learning!
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It is always an interesting process when taking a class. I am from the “old school” of thought and quite vividly remember trying to work on a project that would impress or please the prof and not really try to make the learning meaningful or important to what I was doing in my real life. Taking this class has opened up the possibilities that “my” learning is what is most important. It is a matter of the process not the product that is most important.
Shawna, that’s weird synchronicity. I had a group in class today of high-level students who spent half and hour going off on the completely wrong track. They were upset at the end of class that they weren’t able to construct something on the right track in time, and I told them just what you said – it’s the process sometimes, not the product!
Lisa, it can be tedious sometimes at the beginning of things. I tried that over and over. It’s just a matter of time and patience. But, i think you really have a fine idea for the final project. And I agree with Angela as I understood some of what you are trying to do, but not the whole thing
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