New and Improved!

<![CDATA[This common phrase, from commercials, is interesting.

There is nothing new under the sun.

This quotation, from Ecclesiastes, sums up what I’m increasingly beginning to understand as the case: very little (if anything) that we celebrate now is really new.

Let’s buy some cool products:

• Antibacterial Soap — kills germs on contact! (All soap, when used with warm water, kills germs on contact.)
• Fabric Softener — leaves clothes soft! (All natural
  fabrics are soft when tumbled dry; only artificial fabrics require an oily coating to be soft.)

• Air Freshener — Febreze makes you want to stay home and smell your sheets! (Open
  a window. That stuff is toxic.)

• Elliptical Exercise Machine — tones all your muscles! (Go outside and do some actual physical
  labor.)

• Healthy Food — vitamins and minerals added! (Real
  food has lots of vitamins and minerals already; only processed nasty food needs them added.)

• Mouthwash — kills germs that can cause bad breath! (Have a swig of whiskey.)
• Whitening Detergent — no more faded whites! (Lemon
  juice and sunshine, or vinegar in the rinse, does the same.)

• Moisturizer — for dry, chapped skin! (Anything with oils in it is a skin emollient and healer.)
• Household Cleaner — scrubbing bubbles clean better! (Baking
  soda and vinegar create a chemical reaction that dissolves scum.

• Roundup — kills weeds on contact! (Straight vinegar from the bottle does the same thing, and isn’t toxic.)
• Ant poison — kills bugs dead and keeps them from returning! (Boric
  acid works, and herbs like peppermint keep them away.)

• Deodorant — so you can be yourself! (Baking
  soda, witch hazel or vinegar kills sweat gland bacteria.)

• Makeup remover — gentle on your skin! (Anything with oil does this.)
• Antacid — stops stomach acid fast! (So does a teaspoon of baking
  soda in some water.)

• Hair Conditioner — makes hair soft and silky! (Vinegar again, or even flat beer.)

Yes, I could go on and on. Oh, wait, I just did.]]>